Dear Doctor

We hope you find the likeitis dear doctor page useful.

Unfortunately, we can't respond to individual enquiries or questions but we hope that you'll find something on this page that may help answer any questions you have.

We will be updating this page regularly so keep an eye out for new additions.

Body basics

Q1: I like to masturbate but is it normal and could it be dangerous? Tom

A: Masturbation is perfectly normal and it's a great way of exploring your body, but it's equally OK not to do it!  Many teenagers will experiment in their bedrooms, often starting by rubbing their genitals with their hands to see what feels good. It won't cause any health problems, but you might get a bit sore if you don't use any lubrication such as saliva or KY jelly. Girls sometimes use different objects to rub against the clitoris or to put inside their vaginas. Follow this general rule so you don't pick up infections - if you wouldn't put it in your mouth, don't put it in your vagina! Always make sure your hands are clean and, if using objects, use a condom to protect against the risk of infection.

Click here for more information about masturbation and sex


Q2: I feel really self-conscious about the changes my body is going through. What can I do? Jasmine

A: We all hit puberty sooner or later and it can be a bit of roller coaster ride. The chemicals that kick into gear will affect your emotions and your body's development. Physically there's nothing you can do to stop it, so fasten your safety belt and enjoy the ride!  But you'll find your friends are going through exactly the same issues, and it may help to talk to them.  Older female friends and relatives can be very sympathetic about coping with periods, because they'll have been there too and will be able to reassure you  that you'll get through it. Teen magazines and websites can also give helpful tips.  But remember it doesn't all happen overnight. the changes your body goes through take several years to complete. (And for any lads out there,. with experience you will learn to control those unexpected erections!)

Click here for more information about puberty


Love bugs

Q3: I've read about chlamydia and how you can get it from sex. How would I know if I've got it? Sian

A: Chlamydia is one of a number of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and it's particularly nasty because it often has no symptoms but may prevent girls getting pregnant in the future.  If you did have symptoms these may include a discharge, pain in the lower abdomen, painful sexual intercourse, bleeding after intercourse, pain on passing urine and urinating more frequently. If you are sexually active and are at all worried that you might have been exposed, it's best to get yourself checked out just in case. Brook Advisory Clinics or the genito-urinary medicine (GUM) clinic at your local hospital will see you in total confidence, or get down to your doctor. A simple test will determine whether or not you are infected, and a short course of antibiotics will be prescribed to treat the condition. You should also confide in your partner and ask him to be tested and treated as well otherwise you risk becoming re-infected.

If you are sexually active, the best way to avoid chlamydia and all other STIs, including HIV/AIDS, is by always practising safer sex, using a condom.

Click here for more information about love bugs (STIs or sexually transmitted infections)
Click here to see how to use a condom properly


Cupid's corner

Q4: I can't get a girlfriend and I've never even been on a date. Is there something wrong with me? Tariq

A: It can be really difficult getting a date - especially if you're at a single sex school. Relationships often start as friendships, so put yourself in situations where you at least meet some girls and mix with them. Perhaps you could attend a local youth centre or join a club outside school that lets you pursue an activity you enjoy. That way, you can meet someone who shares your interests and you'll both have some common ground to start from. The next step would be to do the things you both enjoy together, giving yourselves time to get to know one another before you move the friendship up onto another level.

Traditionally, girls used to wait for the lads to make the first move, but these days equality rules, so be ready to say 'yes' if she asks first (usually via her best mate)! Scientific research shows people are attracted to each other by chemical smells, but girls usually say the biggest turn on is a good sense of humour.

Q5: I'm a 13 year old girl and I've got a crush on an older girl at school. Does it mean I'm gay? Shona

A: It's very normal as a teenager to fancy someone of the same sex, but it doesn't mean you're gay. Girls frequently have crushes on older mates, teachers or pop stars so don't panic - it's all part of growing up. When they hit puberty, some teenagers do start to feel confused about their sexuality, which is tied up with the hormones surging through their bodies. On the other hand, some teenagers are very sure at an early stage that they are gay (attracted to people the same sex as themselves). Others may experiment with both boys and girls before working out their feelings. 

Go with the flow and, over time, how you feel will emerge.

Being gay or bisexual (attracted to boys and girls) is not wrong or unnatural, but simply part of a whole range of sexual lifestyles that people find themselves drawn to. The important thing is that you are happy with yourself, comfortable with your sexuality and respectful of other peoples' choices.

If you want to talk to someone about being gay, though, contact the confidential Lesbian and Gay Switchboard on Tel: 0207 837 7324

Click here for more information about sexuality


Sex start

Q6: When will I know if I'm ready to have sex? Jason

A: The law says you should be 16 (or 17 in Northern Ireland) before you have sex, but many teenagers are already sexually active by the time they reach that age.

When thinking about having sex for the first time, the important thing is to take some time to think whether this really is the right choice for you at this particular time in your life.

Some teenagers rush to have sex to lose their virginity to 'get it over with' and sometimes regret it later. Others spend years waiting for the exactly the right partner to come along!

The best advice is never to be pressured into having sex, always say 'no' if you don't feel ready and spend some time exploring all the other possibilities (kissing, touching, masturbating) before you go all the way. And always practise safer sex, using a condom to protect yourself against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

Click here for more information about sex
Click here for more information about contraception
Click here for more information about peer pressure


Q7: My boyfriend and I feel ready to have sex, but we want to make sure we've got the contraception right. I'm 15 and I don't know if I can go on the Pill without telling my mum.  Michelle

A: Girls under 16 can see their family doctor in total confidence and go on the Pill if the doctor thinks they are mature enough to make up their own mind.  The contraceptive pill (the Pill) contains two hormones that prevent pregnancy. Hormonal injections, which last for three months are another option. You also need to protect yourself against sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, which can only be done by properly using a condom. Click here to see how to put on a condom. Using both the Pill and condom is called the 'Double Dutch' method and makes sure both you and your partner are protected against both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Condoms can be bought from chemists, supermarkets or machines in toilets. Teenagers can also go to Brook Advisory Clinics for a full range of free contraceptive services in confidence.

Click here for more information about contraception


Q8: I'm really curious about oral sex. What's it like and is it normal? Sanjay

A: There are lots of ways of expressing your sexual feelings from holding hands to having full sex.  Some couples like oral sex, which involves using your mouth to stimulate the other person's genitals.

Oral sex is quite normal and can give very intense pleasure, but only if both partners want to try it. If either of you feel uncomfortable at any stage, you should stop. It's important that you wash beforehand and use your lips and tongue - NOT your teeth! Get your partner to say what feels good, and practise safer sex, using a condom on the penis.

Click here for more information about sex


Possibly pregnant?

Q9: My best friend got really drunk last night and had sex without a condom. Will she get pregnant? Jen

A: She should take immediate action and get 'emergency contraception' which can be taken up to 72 hours (three days) after unprotected sex. It consists of a pill which can prevent pregnancy.

Emergency contraception is available free from your doctor (ask for an urgent appointment) or Brook Advisory Clinics, or you can buy it over the counter at your chemist's if you're 16 or over. Girls can only get pregnant at certain times of the month (usually around 14 days after the first day of their last period), but sperm can survive for several days in the girl's body, so it's not worth taking any chances.

Click here for more information about emergency contraception
Click here for more information about teen pregnancy


Q10: If you were pregnant at my age (15), how would you tell your parents and what would happen next?

A: If you think you're pregnant, you must talk to someone you trust as soon as possible - a doctor, a teacher, or a family member. Anyone who cares for you might be shocked and angry at first, but then hopefully they'll want to do their best to help you and give you support. If you don't feel confident talking to someone you know, then contact a Brook Advisory Centre. Brook has trained, professional counsellors, who will not judge you or force you to do anything you don't want to.

When facing pregnancy, there are three basic options on what to do next. Some young girls decide to continue with the pregnancy and get support to carry on their education and bring up a baby. Others choose to have the baby, but may feel too young and unprepared to take on the huge responsibility of becoming a parent, so opt for adoption instead.  Some choose to have the pregnancy terminated (an abortion).

Abortions can be carried out legally up to 24 weeks into a pregnancy, but if this is your choice, it is important that you act as quickly as possible. Terminations carried out in the first three months of pregnancy are straightforward procedures that can be carried under local anaesthetic, with very little risk to your health.   Your doctor should sign the papers for you to have an abortion. If he or she won't, you are entitled to be referred to one who will.

Click here for more information about teen pregnancy